Omaha-bound

We've decided to take the plunge and pursue surgery with Dr. Hilgers in Omaha at the PPVII. An exploratory laparoscopy is scheduled for this Friday, Nov. 21 at 9am CT at Creighton University Medical Center. This will be my third laparoscopy...but the first with Dr. H. My last surgery with Dr. Stegman was 4 years ago. Aside from some scattered bits of endo, no doctor has ever found any clear cause for our IF. It's incredibly frustrating (when you are TTC) to have *just* enough fertility each month to give you hope, but not enough to offer any real solace.

We are approaching our 10th year of struggling with infertility and rather than get easier to deal with, it has just sort of become a part of who I am. While I'd like to say I'm "over" it, I'd be lying. I haven't thought of myself a member of the TTC folder for years but that doesn't mean we haven't been actively TTC and hoping with all our hearts the whole time. The ache for more children has not lessened over time and in recent years especially, the desire to understand why my body does not work the way I was created to weighs heavily on my heart. Mr. Mike and I are both 32yo and can hear the tick-tocking of our biological clocks. Menstrual pain has also gotten worse over time so I'm due for a Roto-Rooter'ing again anyhow. I'm tired of shedding tears over this. I need closure.

We've been avoiding Omaha for almost a decade for financial and logistical reasons. But we've recovered from the adoption experiences and the kids are a little older now so it just feels like the time is right. For the past 2 years, we've been sort of casually making an effort to play this last wild card, so to speak. Needlesticks, bloodwork Fed-ex'ed to Omaha, medications prescribed, scheduling then cancelling then re-scheduling this surgery different 3 times and here I am...ready to leave on Omaha-bound plane tomorrow at 6am.

My prayer is to finally be able to obtain closure and move on in one way or another. I pray that the famed Dr. Hilgers can offer insight into what ails us and hopefully be able to treat the cause. But I mostly just want to feel whole again...physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I fly out tomorrow morning and tomorrow afternoon begin a series of daily ovarian ultrasounds at the PPVI Institute. On Thursday Mr. Mike flies out. Surgery is on Friday. Mr. Mike flies home Sunday afternoon. The boys will stay with my inlaws for the 3 nights that Mr. Mike will be with me in Omaha. I arrive home next Wednesday...just in time for Thanksgiving.

I humbly beg your prayers for:

1) a safe and successful surgery on Friday--one that offers insight and help for what is causing our IF
2) for Dr. Hilgers and his staff--that their hands may be guided by the Holy Spirit
3) for our boys...we've never been apart from them overnight--save the 48 hour trip to Guatemala early on in DS#2's adoption.
4) for smooth travel--I don't often travel by myself and have a little anxiety over flights, connections, rental car and hotel check-in/out. Mr. Mike usually handles all this.