Taking off the training wheels

Yesterday was the feast of the Ascension in the Ordinary Form--moved from Thursday to Sunday in most dioceses. We tend to go to go to the Extraordinary Form on Sundays of late so the readings we heard were different than those most of you heard yesterday, but it didn't stop me from thinking about those readings and pondering them in my heart.

Our Lord spent 33 years on this earth as a Man among men before dying upon the Cross and subsequently claiming victory over the death by rising from the dead. He stayed among His apostles in a physical form for 40 more days following this triumph over the grave. I imagine these 40 days with the risen Christ were for the apostles like a honeymoon as they witnessed His previous teachings now take on new meaning. As prophesies were fulfilled. I'm sure they enjoyed the euphoria of being in His Presence once again and the protection and guidance He no doubt provided in those days following His Passion. I'm sure they hung on His every word and clamored to sit near to Him...basking in every moment while it lasted.

But Christ was all along preparing his disciples for His eventual departure, continuing to teach them, command them and, I'm sure, building up their courage. And when the day of His Ascension finally came He gave His disciples a command and promise as related by Mark:

Then He said to them: Go to the whole world and preach the Gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; whoever does not believe will be damned; And these are the signs that will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will cast out devils, speak with new tongues, and handle serpents; if they drink any deadly poison it will not harm them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover. After saying all this to them the Lord Jesus was taken up to Heaven and and took His seat at God's right hand."
--Mark 16:15-19

He commands them to spread the Word but in doing so, promises to give them all the tools necessary...even to the point of withstanding dangers that might otherwise consume them. But before He left, He made one more promise as related in the Acts of the Apostles:

"Wait here for the fulfillment of the Father's promise which you heard from my lips when I said, John's baptism was with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit. It will be fulfilled within a few days from now." --Acts 1: 4-5

Its seems to me that those 40 days that Jesus spent among his disciples after His Passion are like learning to ride a bike (bear with me here) with the comfort and security of training wheels on either side. Those extra wheels uphold you from falling off, even when your balance falters. But the training wheels must come off at some point...our substance and resolve must be put to the test before we can claim any sort of real victory.

Makes me think of Jesus standing beside me with me on my bike and Him bending down to remove the training wheels. He's coaxing me, encouraging me...promising me that He will send help at the other end of the driveway to catch me...but I need to let go and just grit my teeth and bear it. I don't want Him to let go of the bike but how can I doubt His promise that it will be ok? He promises He'll be there even though I'm white-knuckling the handlebars.

He lets go.

I fumble.

I falter.

And sure enough, I fall. I even bleed.

But His spirit is with me as He promised. I get back on the bike only to fall off again but this time I can get back on with a little less fear than before. My knees are skinned but the scars harden over and toughen up the skin. I can now go further distances than I ever imagined. I am emboldened to try routes I never thought I could venture down previously.

"It will be fulfilled within a few days from now."

He departs from them but promises they won't be waiting long before He sends His Spirit. In fact, He is pretty concrete in mentioning the amount of time they will wait: it will be days not months or years. Only a few days. Nine days to be exact. And thus was born the Novena to the Holy Spirit. It was the first and is the oldest of all novenas, commissioned and directed in fact by our Lord Himself.

We are saying this novena right now with several intentions in mind, not the least of which is our pending adoption. Joyful as I am, I am fearful of what is in store ahead. I fear the unknown. God has removed my training wheels once again and is about to let go of the bike. I am fearful and am beset by doubts of all kinds, but I am confidant that He will provide the grace and strength I will require.